hello world

this is my journey and i'm not going to let anyone side track me this time.

hopefully

:)

final post

heartbreak

77

im so sick of your selfishness
. you make me feel as if you do so much for me
. the only thing i remember you doing is driving
im so sick of thinking that im a hassle and a burden on you
im so sick of you making me feel that way about me
im so sick of your excuses and
. your arguments
. arguments that make yourself seem so superior to me
im so sick of liking you
im so sick of waiting for you
im so sick of you meaning so much to me
im so sick of myself
im so sick of you making me hate myself

76

i think im showing signs of psychosis

75

there must be

something wrong with me

i feel nothing

when i lose a friend

or half of one

since i only had half in the first place

now i really have no one

74

i thought you would have known

that being with you

makes me insecure

for all the reasons that are stupid

(lack of gifts, complaints about driving too much...)

i try to dismiss them

but theyre too numerous

so i try to prove them wrong through questions

that end up bugging you

so

im going to try

very,

very

hard not to bug you

with my stupid questions

73

i die slowly inside

72

and i thought that

1k

would 'buy' me a whole lot more

in fact,

it's gotten me nothing

my returns have been zero

i'm the idiot

you make me the idiot

71

i know im not happy anymore

and havent been for a while

but im scared

of being even more unhappy

if i let go

70

none of this is rational

especially me